When I was about six weeks postpartum and at the midpoint of my parental leave, I invited two of my closest work friends to come visit. One friend has a 10-year-old and I invited him, too. The mom friend sat with the baby propped against her knees the whole time; they stuck their tongues out at each other and made little noises back and forth. The second friend let the mom friend monopolize the baby, gave me a rundown of the office gossip, and at some point, made up a song with the 10-year-old:
(Sung with gusto) You can MOOOOVE and GROOOOVE!
(Spoken declaration) You can MOVE and GROOVE.
(Sung again) You can MOOOOVE and GROOOOVE!
(Spoken again, but with harmony underneath) You can MOVE and GROOVE.
(Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.)
You kind of have to hear it.
But it is REALLY catchy, and A. and I kept singing it in the days that followed, and it’s sort of a family anthem now. Let’s say I’m driving alone with the baby in her rear-facing car seat behind me, and she’s digging the motion, but then I have to stop at one too many lights or signals and she starts to grumble. I quickly start croon-chanting “You can MOVE and GROOVE! You can move and groove.” It doesn’t actually make her stop fussing, but it helps me feel like we’re…you get the picture.
About a month ago, I started thinking seriously about committing to this email project for 35 full weeks. I was worried that certain parts of me were at risk of becoming stagnant:
Thankfully, this did not include my own personal hygiene. (No judgment to new parents who can’t find time to shower. I get it, one thousand percent. It just so happens that I’ve become a more committed shower-er once my child came into the picture. My extremely clean spouse and our childcare provider are the two primary reasons this is possible.)
I didn’t want to be dull or sluggish. I needed accountability to myself and the person I want to be at this moment in my life. And as I brainstormed a lot of corny titles and themes for this project, I realized that a potential one was stuck in my head already in the form of one very catchy family anthem. I texted the friends, who graciously granted permission to use “Move and Groove” as the title. I figured if I centered the project loosely around this theme, I might actually do some moving and grooving in the coming 245 days.
A few ways I’ve put things in motion, made a change, felt moved, or been awed by movements this week:
I had just started listening to the essential podcast 16 Shots when I heard that Rahm isn’t running again. Another week I’ll write about how historic it feels to be living in Chicago during these years, how my knowledge of the organizing history and landscape here barely scratches the surface but how much awe it inspires in me the more I learn.
I am in a very “trust people, not institutions” place these days. But in the spirit of reforming things while we also work to dismantle and revolutionize them, it’s good to hear about institutions that are offering parental leave that makes us competitive with the rest of the world. (That Gates Foundation report reminded me of this NYT op-ed from the chief of Rent the Runway and this series on from the podcast The Longest Shortest Time.)
“Had only one speaker refused to appear at the festival, Bannon may not have been dropped. As with all collective action, what turned the tide was solidarity. When people act together, they have more power than any one of them has alone.”
Personal moves: I committed to hosting a postcard writing party with Sister District. And on my birthday, I got to pedal around in a swan boat!
Don’t these definitions feel fitting at this back-to-school, buckle-down, summer-to-fall transition time?
Some grooves this week:
Pumped 3-4 times per day, including in a conference room I booked at a public library and, for the first time in these nearly eight months, in a public restroom.
Joined the Y. Made this oatmeal that I used to make all the time but haven’t had in months. Played Tiny Desk Concerts while offering the kid solid foods most nights.
Reconnected with a couple of old friends who held up mirrors to who I am and who I want to be. Special love to Kara for reminding me that I am a different person than I was eight months ago. I need different things.
And twice this weekend when I could feel myself getting blue, I put my kid into her carrier or stroller and we took a long walk and everything felt better. It is wild how, 7.5 months in, the act of putting her into these contraptions and getting out and then home without either of us melting down still feels like such a humbling victory.
I have also had plenty of fails this week.
If you’ve texted or emailed me recently, I almost certainly haven’t answered. Unless I read your text during a 4 am feeding, in which case I've texted you an incoherent response and forgotten about it already.
I have dropped balls. I have opted for drama and/or conflict avoidance when I knew there were better ways to operate. I’m in a pretty funky spot as I prepare to click Send.
But this email project has a theme, you know? And it probably should have a max word count. So we’ll leave it here and consider a deeper dive into the “why I derail my moves and grooves” another time.
What’s moving you?
Got a headline, song, throwback, or campaign I should be sure to include one week soon? Let me know!